to moons over my hammy

i am experiencing an immeasurable sadness akin to death now that our summer is over. i love you guys a lot and will remember that time, our time, as a group for this summer forever i think. however high i got on the scale of happiness i got i am experiencing the valley of that mountain. could not ask for a better way to spend the last summer of high school. i really do hope you guys know how amazing each and every one of you are and hope that we never part ways. we are so freaking awesome and the beginnings of this group are so wild and complex its funny. our journey was packed and dense and at times difficult to navigate but i am so glad it happened. hiccups and bumps never stopped us and i hope they never do. wherever everyone is, near or far to me, regardless of how much we speak to one another in the far future, i love every one of you and will cherish you and the memories you have made for me to keep forever. i can barely see the screen right now my eyes have welled up and i am tired and missing you guys and school is about to start tomorrow and i am writing the most cheesy shit ever. to amanda my love i miss you every waking second already. everything good that happens to me i wish you were here to see it and everything bad i wish you were here again, to make it better. to jewel my bud i love laughing with you about the stupidest things while no one else knows whats going on and touching elbows together. the elbow is one of the best bits i have w anyone and its very comforting to me. to ethan my future director, i am looking forward to being cast in your movies sir. listening to music with you is always so so awesome whether or not we are seeing colours and i wish we could do it for hours. despite what others say i quite like your driving tbh. to jian i cant put into words how much of a great goddess you are. still to this day i have the little quote from you from the leadership nice words things memorized because it makes me happy. im glad i have one of the best english speakers as my buddy for english class (with your “not just a pretty face” ass). to chanel whom my mother fawns over, i will get you back for twister and i will win. probably the greatest eyeroller in modern times, you are such a comforting presence and i always have the most sarcastic conversations with you its awesome. i was really scared when you skipthedishesed mcdonalds to jians house and i will miss that. and last but in no way least to ben, my green goblin, my chump, my partner in crime. a guiding light, a wild beast. a great figure. no distance can take away from my love for you. i cant believe we almost didnt go to the airport to see you off and even then it was in no way a fulfilling goodbye. every dance and stupid handshake and dumb bit i will treasure because thats all that i have left, really. memories. i am mangled, i am feeling lost now that i am free. to all of you, friends: thank you for actually changing my life forever. thank you thank you thank you. i am no longer the nearly unfeeling human i once was, unable to ever feel sad but now i have experienced and can experience that joy i guess. how lucky i am to be crying in front of a laptop screen at something i wrote myself, because of 6 idiots who made me feel so happy and loved. i love you all.

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